I say Fothers old chap, my kite's got hooked up on the clock tower finnial, be a good chap - Get stuffed Downes, I'm still smarting from that treehouse deal of yours where I as the owner had to pay the taxes, six of the bloody best if you rightly remember!"
But Fothers old chap, didn't you know, it's only four for climbing up the clock tower without written permission from Woollan or the school board though it could be three if you pleaded loss of direction in the heat of the moment so get on with it !
Really ? Well I didn't know dat, loss of direction you sez,heat of the moment, what's dat?
Breaking into a sweat just before you fall and a short spell just before you hit the concrete
Well as long as it's only a short spell and nuttin' like a long one, I'll do it. Get me some rope and a jam sandwich, I could be gone awhile
So that was as close as KH ever got to prodicing a hero until...
One sunday afternoon fishing for barracuda ( though shark would have done in such lean times) Mr and Mrs Phelps with three year old daughter in tow where ambling along the banks of the mighty Sarsden Brook when daughter Nicholas dropped her dolly into the raging waters where, without even the first though of self preservation ( though not exactly you're every day reaction of the school's most celebrated coward "Tweren't me Sir, twas him, or somebody that looked like him " - In I dived, belly first, head last with legs about to follow.
Good grief !! Yelled Mrs Phelps and owner of the best pair of legs in Oxfordshire and all adjoining counties "Dizzy !! It's only four inches deep, you might injure yourself, be carefull !!"
Silly sod muttered Phelps, housemaster and owner of a wife with the best legs in Oxfordshire and all adjoining counties "Pull him out, wring him out and give him an extra iced bun tonight and quite possibly he won't drown - unless you hold him down of course..."Guy !! " exclaimed Mrs P,owner of the best legs in Oxfordshire and all adjoining counties "But what about Nichola's dolly Guy !?"
Hmm mused Phelps as I came up for the third time "Save the dolly then if you have to and I'll alert Matron later to stand by with a suction punp - and oh, an extra iced bun at supper time I suppose.
It's all in the school records y'know !