Hold it right dere fellas cautioned the leader of the clean up party and Strumpet Cub fund raiser in his spare time "Dis could be someting to do wid Moby Dick, Oi read it in the Eagle - Oi'll stand well back while you'se all takes a closer look!" as, once again, speculation hit the fan.
Who's Moby Dick?
Some kinda big fish - I tink
Oi caught a fish like dat once but it looked nuttin' like dat fish hanging off dat line dere
No, sometimes dey don't look like a fish at all - dem's the one's to watch out for
Right men, cut out the crap, I'm the expert here ( really meaning me of course ) ordered the leader from behind a wall 5 miles North of Kingham Hlll "On my command, charge it head on wid your litter picks den the survivors report back to me - CHARGE !!!"
And so thirty spare litter pickers hurled themselves upon all that stood between Matron looking like Matron and not Moby Dick though some would say there was no immediate and noticeable difference from close up and absolutely none at all from distance and especially from where our esteemed leader stood as they gallantly tore it apart from stem to stern and port to sta'board.
So, the next day as the tattered remains of Matrons life line swung idly in the wind, thirty would be hero's formed an orderly queue outside the headmasters study while their formidable leader with a five mile start on Matron, the headmaster, two nurses and a cleaner was never seen or heard of again.
And, if you believe all that, I'm a Martian too !
Written during a senior moment