>

In my days the guaranteed cure for big boys that belayed little boys down dark alleys so as to relieve them of their wordly possesions - a frog or two, trained, part trained or just simply wild.

A pen knife designed to halt an Alien invasion dead in its tracks. An equaly lethal length of rubber band attatched to a thumb splitting V shaped twig that could take out a headmaster at a hundred yards (prefferably in the the dark ) and many other similar world conquering essentials that were invariably attatched to every schoolboy local, nationwide and global - was a truly well executed six of the best laid down hard enough to let the recipient know that jumping smaller kids down dark alleys wasn't, after all, such a good idea in the first place and something which reminded him so for a week or two every time they went to sit down, but now ? well it's knives, bayonets and even automatic rifles if you live in a country where they refer to a car bonnet as a hood and inhabited by the kind of people that would go bird watching with an armour piercing rocket launcher strapped to their hip !

Well apart from the odd kid swinging by his neck in the spinney, or floating face down in Sarsden Brook, we didn't have that kind of problem at KH in my day as bulleys were few and far between and practically unheard of but one sweltering hot afternoon while waiting to all pile into the dining hall a certain boy took it upon himself to creep up behind the unsuspecting and ram a large safety pin up to its hilt in ones backside.

Now as boys went I was stunningly handsome (and still am ) but built like a twig and was therefore easy prey as our assailant came up on my blind side - John Wayne, act one scene two, 'The Shootist' - and rammed his jumbo sized safety pin right into my backside at which I spun round, lashed out, and caught him plumb dead center right on the end of his nose - blood oozed, tempers were up, the fight was on !

Now for obvious reasons no one was routing for the Safety Pin Kid but all were up for me - "Come on Diz, kick him in the goolies !!!!" and not knowing what goolies were I kicked him in them anyway and down he went - YAY !!! you don't mess with the lightnin' fast Dizzy The D, anti-safety pin crusader !!

Now what defeated my oversized opponent wasn't any fancy footwork on my part, or an ox felling right hook, no, it was the disheartening effect the crowd was having on him and apparanrly not having a friend in the world during mortal combat was a far better cure for bullying than any six of the best and after that ? well we became best of friends - as all hero's and all bulleys do - AND he shared half his sweet ration with me !

Dizzy D

Rate this item
(0 votes)

Leave a comment

Make sure you enter all the required information, indicated by an asterisk (*). HTML code is not allowed.

What was Published on...

« April 2020 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30